You might have heard of the more usual "Song for Europe" but
here we offer you a new and unique service "A
song for murder"! Listen to these ruinations below if you dare! These are the most recent
releases from this "Priceless" pair!
These are mp3 files of
approximately 1.3 meg in size. (WARNING: May cause offence to those who LIKE these songs so be warned!)
Email us with details of any song you would like to see
"murdered" together with a midi file of said offending song,
words and reasons and we will do our level best to "murder" it for
you. The result will be placed below for everyone to
download.............if they dare.......!
So far the comments have been most encouraging. Our efforts
have been described by one customer as "exquisite agony" and a nephew who
was unfortunate enough to hear one song told his brother (to whom it was sent
for perusal) that the song was
"getting on his nerves!" What a fine way to
annoy those you hate too! (brotherly love being what it is!) With no
further a do here they are.............
Guten
Abend
Gute Nacht (mp3 file 0.475 meg) (guaranteed NOT to send you to sleep!) We like
this song actually but "murdered" it in the name of
practice. (it is amazing how difficult it is to sing "out of
tune"!!) With apologies to Brahms of course.
Walzin' Matilda(mp3 file 1.07 meg-with apologies to the original song. Download to hear the ruination for yourself and........patriotic Aussies be warned..........you may not like it!)
Physical Education is the most hated school lesson
of our nephew, Ian. I make no apology for including it because I hated it
very much too. I will never forget the agony of the time the games
mistress literally forced me to to a forward roll over a bar of a ladder in the
gym at school. Of course she did not succeed and then accused me of
"not trying"!
Yes Ian - I whole heartedly agree that PE is most definitely worthy
of the trash bin! I challenge all those out there to disagree.
Fortunately Ian has now left school and is no longer subject to such
torture................
Practising piano
scales has been submitted by a now ex-piano pupil of Andrew's,
David. Whilst David is now no longer tortured by such things we include a
java applet below for all budding pianists to practice their skills :-)
Crochet covered coat
hangers have been submitted by our friend Lorna in South
Australia. I have to admit to some sympathy with you, Lorna, because I
well remember these monstrosities being proffered to me and my family from
friends and relations who were obviously hopelessly short of present
ideas. I have to say that it also brings to mind those scented drawer
liners that are also given in the absence of anything more imaginative.
Look out for a java applet which will allow all those, including Lorna of
course, to vent their anger on this object of loathing. I therefore fully
endorse this submission and have no hesitation in consigning it to the trash
bin!
For Lorna and all those out there who also hate nylon covered crochet
coat hangers I invite them to click this lovely example below and then
destroy them with your mouse!
An ex-piano pupil of Andrew's and ex-head chorister of Holy Trinity Choir,
Coventry has asked me to consider his very reasonable choice "Mathematics
lessons" to be included as a piece of questionable treasure. I have
to agree with David on this matter. Agreed David.........after
all..........is life REALLY dependent on such equations as "pythagorus
squared" and other equations of torment offered to our long suffering
school children and students. I may, time permitting, add a mathematical
torment puzzle here specially for David and all those out there who love maths
with equal fervour (unfortunately I was hopeless at maths
so don't hold your breath!)