Round the Bend

by

Geoff Chandler

The good City Chambers of Edinburgh have decided it's time my stair was repainted.

The Chambers have also decided to let us, the tenants, decide what two colours are to be used.

First I am mildly relieved to hear the people who live there will be choosing the colour scheme. It's not that I don't trust the good Council to do an excellent job painting walls., just a little apprehensive.

They have just spent a fortune putting new logo's up all over the City and they have spelt Edinburgh - Edinbvrgh.

On second thoughts I felt a little apprehensive. What colour would be chosen during the 'Stair Meeting.'

Now I have every right to feel apprehensive about Stair Meetings, it's usually 5 tenants ganging up on me each telling their own tale of woe - loud music, shouting, rubbish thrown out of windows, letting off fireworks in the stair, strange late night noises (me zapping alien things on my computer), water fights, etc. etc.

This time it was different, you see the stair is divided nicely with 3 Jambo's and 3 Hi'bees. I'm of the latter persuasion and was glad to have two allies for once.

So the discussion went on and as you can figure neither side was willing budge on maroon & white or green & white.

A compromise was needed and this is where I put on my Ian Hoskins hat and suggested blue & yellow.

Now there is a tale told that the Monarch colours were chosen from the colours of a sweetie wrapper. I say no. Mr Hoskins chose those colours so he would not upset both local sets of football supporters. In this case Hibs and Hearts.

He did the same thing with Glasgow (red & white), Speedway teams that came from a town supporting only one football team adopted that teams colours, Newcastle, Wolverhampton, Middlesbrough, Stoke to name just a few.

Enough of the history lesson, soon my stair will reek of fresh paint. Fresh blue & yellow paint. I am thinking of celebrating the new colour scheme by naming my house 'Les Collins' or perhaps I'll just leave it with the nickname it has already - The Pits.

Speedway team nicknames have always fascinated me, it was one of the many lures that trapped me to the sport. Some of the nicknames are obvious, but some are not. Why the Belle Vue Aces, Exeter Falcons, Swindon Robins, The Romford Bombers etc.

If anyone out there knows a history behind any team nickname - who chose it, what other nicknames were considered, how the colours were picked. then e-mail me at the above address.

My only involvement in naming a Speedway team was when Linlithgow Lightning started up. Promoter/team manager Alan Robertson asked me to help in choosing a nickname.

Some suggestions already in the melting pot were: Linlithgow Leopards, Lions, Locusts, Lancers. I believe it was Alan himself who came up with and chose Lightning.

Of course within five minutes of asking me Alan regretted it. I hit him with -

Linlithgow Landlords, you could put the admission prices week by week.

Linlithgow Lepers, no need to fit showers, other riders won't go near them if they gate.

Linlithgow Leprechauns, ride on mini bikes granting three wishes to the crowd.

Linlithgow Lift Boys, they go up and down the league.

Linlithgow Locomotive, they get all steamed up if they get beat, meeting are always late and cancelled if there are leaves on the track.

Linlithgow Lunar, hold meetings every full moon and the riders go stark raving mad.

Linlithgow Luftwaffe with a swastika as a team badge. Might be a bit of trouble getting sponsors for this one.

Linlithgow Lighthouse, showing other teams the way.

Linlithgow Lettuce, coming up to head the bunch.

By now Alan Robertson was asking people to keep me away as I chased him all over Powderhall still coming up with all sorts of nicknames. Linlithgow Lugworms, Lasers, Limpets...

Alan managed to get away and then hid for the rest of the evening. I believe he chose Lightning just to shut me up.