I love to go a wandering around the Speedway tracks.

And as I go I carry with me directions in my back (pocket).

OK I'll leave the poetry to Mose. So another season, another home, another dog track.

As I wander I wonder - has there ever been the visa versa? I mean has a dog racing outfit ever up'd stock and starting boxes and set up a new home at a Speedway track?

I may be corrected on this, but now Armadale has succumbed and been Speedwaytized, is there a dog track in the land that does not have, or one time never been, a Speedway track?

Perhaps some enterprising chap could merge the two sports by training Greyhounds to ride Speedway bikes.

No chance of a visa versa here. Stuffing six unfit Speedway riders into boxes and asking them to chase after an electric hare would just not work.

But the dog on a bike idea may work out quite well.

To train a dog to ride a speedway bike one uses the same technique when training a dog to anything. A sharp sudden blow around the earhole with a wooden tent mallet and you have the dog's undivided attention.

In fact if we put our minds to it we could train dogs to do anything. Fight our wars, clean our streets (How's that for revenge), drive our buses, row our boats, write our Speedway columns.

Greyhounds would make good Speedway riders. They like going fast, they are used to the shape of the track and as for noisy fans shouting abuse at them from the terraces, well I'm sure they all have experienced that some time or other.

Poodles would be terrible Speedway riders. They never go fast, the breed is stupid and would turn right instead of left at the bends and as for taking abuse.

One curse aimed at a Poodle, no matter how slight, would kill it.

So a new home, a new track but same column. My dog, Montmorency, a thoroughbred mongrel, will write next week's column - now where's that wooden tent mallet?